Mardale have discovered that contrary to popular belief Michael Jackson is not in fact dead, but has moved to Las Vegas to work with his ex-father-in-law, Elvis Presley. The  crazed superstar's life was in such turmoil over legal cases and debts that he decided to 'do and Elvis' and fake his own death. Michael has been planning this for some time.

In an unusual twist to the normal route of altering a third party to look like the 'deceased' star, Jackson had been making the job somewhat simpler in recent times by altering his own appearance to lok more like some random stiff. The Los Angeles county coroner said last night that 'yes, a body reported to be Michael Jackson was delivered here from L.A. County Hospital last night, but as he's not been seen for a couple of weeks, how do weknow what he looks like. We're going to confirm it's him from his medical records - the first truck should be arriving any time now'.