Russell Geake and Alexia Muskett got together after bumping into each other at a series of climate change events.

So when they decided to tie the knot in Cornwall, it was only natural they would want to do it in an environmentally-friendly way.

"The less mark that you can make on the ground you walk on the better," said Lexi.

Invitations popped up in guests' inboxes, saving paper, ink and postage, and anything that has had to be printed has been done so with vegetable ink on recycled toilet paper.

Instead of champagne, an insipid white wine from a Cornish vineyard will be passed through a Soda Stream to toast the bride and groom, and the wedding breakfast will be organic apples, peas and gooseberries - all picked from the Verger's vegetable garden on the way into the church hall. Instead of a wedding cake there'll be a huge bowl of muesli, accompanied by bottles of breast milk donated by local earth-mothers. Guests will be expected to recycle their own excretions while at the service so toilets have been nailed shut and 'earth closets' have been employed to help with the effort. "We'll be chucking all that lovely fertiliser at the trees round the back after the service instead of lobbing confetti at each other", Russell added.

Both Russell, 30, and Lexi, 38, found their wedding outfits in Army Surplus shops. Russell will be going as a Japanese Admiral and Lexi will be dressed in a resplendent white noddy suit from a dead Gulf War Chaplain. The couple have promised to re-cycle the outfits as tea towels, curtains and gimp-suit accessories after the ceremony.

Porthpean Church, set above the glistening Cornish sea, is only a five minute walk from the reception venue so there is no need to drive, but the bride will still arrive by car - a previously discarded Ford Escort pulled by a cart-horse that had been itself rescued from the local Knacker's yard. "We did attempt to push the car to the church, but our beard-weirdy friends didn't have the strength, so we recruited Trigger here"

The couple have also decided to have wooden wedding rings. Russell had tried to carve them himself but after several sphincter-splinters, they decided to call in a professional. "I love the wooden wedding rings - They're cute, and different, as long as you remember to remove them during foreplay"

The wood came from a walnut tree that was cut down to make the Newbury bypass, and is understood to be the very tree that Swampy used to rub against when seeking relief. The artist, John Ersmate said, "You have to look after them, and polish them, like a good marriage, especially around the rim."

There will be no cut flowers, instead Lexi's mother has been hard at work making buttonholes and bouquets out of plastic bags. She got the idea after reading an origami book, and wondered if the same technique for making paper flowers would work for plastic. "I've got it all arranged - the bride's family will all have Asda and the Groom's Morrisons - and I've made a huge display out of one of those big Ikea bags - it's great".

The couple are giving all their guests low energy light bulbs as party favours. One guest, Marsha Lamps commented "This is a lovely gesture, now every time I switch on the light for the downstairs cludgie, I'll remember this joyful day."

Russell said, "The average cost of getting married is £17,000 and generates about 32 tonnes of carbon, but this eco-friendly wedding has actually worked out at £17.85. We're spending the rest on a Fly-Drive holiday to Alaska - we want to see it before all the ice melts"

Mardale wish them all the best and are glad to see that they will be making 2 people miserable instead of 4.

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