Root cause discovered - shite name Officials at the Icelandic bank Landsbanki have finally figured out why their bank spectacularly failed this week. It turns out that investors had been put off by the comedy sounding name.
"We've had our concerns about the name before", said head of public affairs Gaaar Beergaaardin, "for instance, our corporate motto brainstorming sessions always end up with somone saying 'Landsbanki - We're not too wanky", or "If we go bust, you'll need a hankie"'.
Beergaaardin also confirmed that the manager who proposed the slogan "Landsbanki for hanky panky" no longer works in the business. In fact, the name is so little respected that the bank were not made aware of the impending global banking crisis. "We stopped going to World Bank and IMF meetings, because everybody always takes the piss. I'm fed up coming out of meetings with post-it notes stuck to my back with puerile comments about wankybanky and the like" said ex-head of corporate affairs Laars Hool. "As a result, all this shit is news to us". The banking crisis in Iceland is so bad that the entire country is now bankrupt. Prime Minister Rinkel Staar blames this on poor choice of names as well. "look at those cunts in Greenland, lying bastards. Everybody knows that there's much more ice over there, but they get away with calling themselves fucking green-and-pleasant land. We're stuck with 'freeze-yer-bollocks-off land, not very good for the tourist trade, I must say." Industry insiders now expect Iceland to be taken over by the high street store of the same name. An Iceland (the shop, not the country)spokesman was heard to say "Sponsored stadiums? Fuck off. Come and look at our country, losers!"
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